Nonsense is my first name.

It's 6am now.

I woke up 3 hours ago, took a bath and took a bite.

Returning home is too much of a comfort that I actually feel all the strains and aches that I didn't notice when I'm in hostel.

Suddenly, I felt dehydrated and very dry. There was a tinge of burning sensation in my lips, which occurs when lacking from water. So I lugged a one-litre water bottle with me to do project today but I ended up drinking only 200ml. Need more water.

And I got so tired and konked out when I reached home today. I didn't even bother to change clothes. And despite the clink-clink-clank-clank commotion by my relatives at 1am, I managed to concuss until Jia came to ask me if I wanted to go Penang, which she will sponsor. I think I answered "You asking me at the wrong time lah, I don't know if I want to go." After much talking by her which I couldn't remember what she said, so I think I'm leaving for Penang in mid May. I heard her complaining to my mum, godmum and er-gu, "Wah, sponsor her go trip she still complain I ask her wrong time! But she going lah!" Heh.

Seeing numbers whole day and I couldn't write a decent sentence.

Anna mentioned I was quite emo over my FYP demo. Yeap, I was but I'm fine now. Think it's the PMS that time you know.

Other than PMS triggering emotion flood, alone in a room looking at a PC doing nothing also trigger flood of thoughts, but then I not good at putting thoughts into words, and I am "pretty good at it".

I mean, like in my mind I wanted to do this but I ended doing a nonsense that.

Anyway, I just had a few very irritating thoughts lah.

So while all along I was fantansizing and believing in my current fairytale of "I like him and he seemed to like me too although I am fat", suddenly, I noticed that hanging out too much and too frequently made me to know more about him. And the more I know, the more I felt that it is a dream that wouldn't come true, because knowing all the goodness about him , I just felt so unworthy for him. I think I am making myself to believe that he like me although he is not. Maybe he is just teasing me like the way TX does, not because he wanted to attract my attention; talking to me as merely as a friend, not because he wanted to hear my voice; help me with my projects as I seemed to be drown in and cannot cope and he was pulled in by them anyway, not because he pity the sorry state I looked. He probably might hate how I am so quite useless? I'm beginning to hate this crush thing although it is what it gets my butt to school.

I talked a lot of nonsense when I am stressed or tired, as pointed out by TX. I felt so paiseh when he pointed it out an incident during our HRM last sem to the 4718 teammates. So last year, while I was pouring out a lot of nonsensical words, they just drank it all in? That's when TX said they dunno what I talking, and I was like so damn high. Wah lau, I couldn't even remember what I said to them that time except buying 2 breads and telling them it would be gone by morning. Need to check blog history. What embarassing things did I say again?

Wah biang!

I heard a woman singing just now, dam eerie, not that she sang eeriely, but the fact that a woman singing at 6am was eerie. Or was it Jamie talking/singing in her dream?