How should we call it?

Recently, XX polytechnic was having a terrible headache over a particular female student's scandalous video. While everyone is focusing on that poor girl, I wonder, how come nobody is talking about the boyfriend, who, very likely was the one who suggested this freak idea, but had used the poor girl's phone? I had seen the video myself, and in the news article, it was said taken somewhere in the school's compound, please lor, I saw a wardrobe with a lot of men's clothings and obviously it was at the boyfriend's house. Yes... they were 100% naked, er hem... In case you all wonder why I wonder the guy is not getting attention in the media, well, both are leads and why is the female lead getting the attention (bad one) , must give some for the male lead mah, we are in a sort of equal status society, so must be fair mah! And personally, why should I be interested in the girl when I have everything she has, but she don't have what I have (my fats). So of course, I focus on the guy lah! LOl, joking joking.

Anyway, in a blog I read, he joked in a crude way that the boyfriend's "little brother" was just average, not very well-endowed, and that his is bigger blah blah blah. Obviously, no guy want to admit he had the smallest in the world one mah, and I think it was purely fictionous for entertainment only.

Okie, I've reached my main point in this entry. How many other terms can you come up with for this male anatomy, which we had lovingly name it, Penis. I search Thesaurus.com and I think this is the only word with no other official names but a lot of unoffical names:

What the fuckanana??? It's not offical meh?

I searched Dictionary.com for meaning:

Now, let's talk about some non-official terms. I think the first time I knew what that thing called, non-offically, was called ku ku jiao or ku ku bird, or di di. Then, I started to wonder, in what way does a penis resemble a bird? And why ku ku bird, and not chi chi or pi pi, not worm or snake or dragon, to make it sound more "high class"? Seriously, they should name it after the animals above, depending on the length, obviously. Experts always say size do not matter and that the average size of a penis is 3 inches (young boys?) and it's enough to satisfy women (shaking your head?). The world's longest record is 14 inches leh! So now, let me grade these men's "di-di":

3 inches-6 inches: Wormy, wriggly and itchy, you wish you could smack it to make it go (grow, lol)

7 inches - 9 inches: Snaky, looks frightening at first, but once you got used to it, it's no big deal at all

10 inches - 14 inches: Dragonly, it's rare and once you have it, eternal bliss.

LOL, I think can be a secret code for during "discussion".

Let's move to Western. When I started to learn to read properly, that was when I read word by word and not skim through them like the words are not there. I got to know the Ang Mohs like to call them dick or cock (Is this how ku ku bird originate from?) Seriously, Dick is suppose to be a human name, how did it end up and become a penis name? This guy friend of mine, he had this name Dick by birth, and he happily used it until P6 when all his guy friends started teasing him. Cock? This one really caught me scratching my head liao, exactly like my previous question mark, which part look like rooster? Or is it used to describe the size, as it is close to that of a rooster?

When I went to secondary school, I learnt more terms on the male anatomy. Lam Pa and Lan Jiao, 2 hot favourites among the bengs and lians. I remembered there was this sick riddle related to it. Diao (吊), refer to the male's private organ in Taiwan, a kind of vulgarity. I think they called it Diao because of the way it is there, you know, a piece of meat dangling. And yah, it was commonly linked to banana, hotdog and a rod and anything that's long.

No matter how they are called generally, I think "di-di" sounds better, coz there a touch of human to it.

High qualifications

In the old times, women were taught mainly for home economics, and not other things, for a woman's only duty was to look after the husband and children blah blah blah. Now, with the rise of female power, women not only get to study, the way women think changes too. Especially those feminist power, "What ever men can do, I can do better!" Eh, I used to think a little sideway to the feminist power, but not very "hardcore" lah, just that sometimes I think I am more gentlemen than those supposedly gentlemen. =_=Y

Anyway, I noticed a very interesting phenomenon in my previous polytechnic and current school. That is, those female doctors (Ph.d), mostly are single, i.e unmarried, attached or not I don't know. But in the traditional viewpoint, people might think they had studied too much, thus scare away their suitors bah... Eh, so far, I only knew about 4 female doctors, and out of the 4, only one seemed to be married (unconfirmed), the remaining 3, 2 seems to be quite young (as in they are around 30++), 1 maybe is young but dress like ah-ma.

Is it really destined for women who had high qualifications, to be single? One lousy example, the female doctor in the very famous Joo Chiat's dispute, also single right? Eh, why like that ar? (The Joo Chiat doctor's singlehood is understandable lah)I s it because of the male's ego? If the gf is too clever, the bf will lose face coz he will looks stupid? I thought he should be proud that he had such a clever gf right? I'm not saying girl-up, boy-down relation won't work out, but so far, only 1% or 2% of the people I knew managed such kind of relationships. An as a outsider, sometimes I can't control and thought to myself, "Eh, why she choose him?" But such things are hard to say, maybe the bf will work hard for gf's sake bah... The cases around me, their education difference is from a small margin to big gap, so itr's hard to discern also.

Back to female doctors, if getting a Ph.d means they are above common people, it's no wonder that guys are put off. Coz 90% of the guys will mostly "scan" on the outside. Dumb? Never mind, she thinks he clever good enough. The cleverest lady is one who acts dumb but actually controls her boy and he thinks he controls her. This is also "Ph.d"- "Pretending His DumbBelle".

Just wrote this entry out of boredom coz I ate a heavy lunch and doesn't feel like doing my maths.

A whole new level of understanding...

I had never like reading very much, especially English Literature, it just never get into my head, and weirdly, I appreciate Chinese Novels more (not those classic like Red Chamber, it's a slumber spell).

Recently, I started picking story books in my very old cupboard, I re-read on "Of Mice and Men" and "The wonderful story of Henry Sugar". I had never read Henry Sugar before, it was the movie "Catch me if you can " that compelled me to read coz Jia was telling me the stories are somewhat similar. I had just finished "Of Mice and Men", 10 minutes ago, and therefore I am in a very bewildered mood writing this: coz I realised my comprehension in secondary school sucks big time! I only fully understand the whole story, the intentions of the characters and the twist in the story. When I was 16, I thought George killed Lennie so that Lennie would not be harmed by the guys after him. And just now, I realised George had killed him with a motive! George had stolen Carl's gun, and made it like Lennie had stole it, and he had killed Lennie coz he had to protect himself. The intention to free Lennie's misery as a dumb was there, together with all his frustrations. After finishing the book, I had this serious Literature Shock! Now I know why my Lit sucks during secondary school, for my level of understanding was like a primary school kid.

Somehow, I think I am experiencing these LS could be due to change in mentality, that is thinking somehwat like an adult bah... or maybe I am such a late bloomer that I am basically think like a 16 year old which I should be 6 years ago? (Damn, I was Sec. 4 six years ago? That's like so long ago!!!)

Did a weekly weigh-in, still the same, after loo trip somemore, before was like 1 kg heavier? I really ought to stop munching on the CNY goodies.

Happy V-Day!

What a day to spend my day: Rush proposal till 3am last night, woke up at 7am to go library and search for hard copy reference. Edit some more parts of proposal, try to print but failed coz the machine could not read my card and it kept giving me runtime error. Rush to another building to print, then rush to bookstore to buy file. Rush for lesson, already in malfunction mode due to sleep deprive. Ate brunch and then went to academic office to help LL submit her withdrawl letter, realised a shorter route (actually should be less tiring route) to go to the office. Went to pc laband enjoy aircon, until it's too cold and sleep for 15 mins on the bench. Attend a scary tutorial, treat myself to Beef Fantastic meal, and then proceed to nap for 4 hours.

Even when I'm in school, I'm not spared from getting flower-natic. Holy Pig! Flowers, bears, chocolates, heart shape balloons, could be seen everywhere! Wah Liew... Anyway, a typicsl boring day.

Happy Valentine's Day to all people!

Moths...

A dead moth gave me a big shock just now. I wasn't wearing my specs, and while putting my Dynamo back in the racks outside, I thought I saw a wrapper, so I thought of clearing it away. After picking it up, I saw it was brown and I thought it was a leaf, after 0.05s, sensing the texture was not right, and at that point, I saw the head and I dropped it immediately and eewed loudly.

Later Roomie confessed that she had put it on my shoebox and not on the floor feared that people would step on it. She had thought it was alive and wanna let it fly away. Little did she knew that it was a faux and the moth was actually motionless. However, I had picked the moth from the floor, and not from the shoebox, so I cracked this joke about the moth must have been really alive, but the odour of my stinky shoes was so overpowering that the moth fainted, and thus dropped the floor, causing its death. LOL, anyway, we were quite boliao also, to think we could laugh over a moth for almost 5 minutes!

Anyway, my hostel is heavily infested with bugs, so I'm kinda used to it. I just have some scary and silly thoughts that these "unwelcome guests" would rest on me while I'm in deep slumber. Yee... kinda grossed out at the thought of it. Pui! Yucks!

I was reading an article from Reader's Digest, and it was about a man who was deeply passionate on moth photography. He was mesmerized one day when a moth landed on his projecter and on the white screen, he could see vivid and colourful fur prints. From there, he started to hold exhibition, where he would enlarge the photos on these moths. It was so huge that one could even see the furry wings. Yes, moths have fur. I was very surprised too. Those people who visited his exhibition, could not resist and touch the photosfor they don't believe that the print was taken on a moth. Without description, one would have thought it was leopard print.

Nature is so fascinating, isn't it?

Enough on these arty-farty moths. I was quite pissed off with Mr. H, a very good buddy I knew online, no, not the guy who fixed the PC, it's the guy who cannot do simple simultaneous equations. Since last Friday, I had started to clip my fringe back coz it was rather irritating to keep brushing them back during lesson. So today, I met him for a movie and dinner (no, it wasn't those kind of romantic date, more of a buddy outing). The moment he saw me, he critisized that my outfit was auntie, I retorted back that my image was like this since the day he knew me. Later he commented my hair was very auntie, and again I defended by saying that "better than looking like shaggy dog". I almost feel like whacking him when he said my face looked rounder! Argh... last straw! I warned him to stop all his nonsense else I would be angry. Yeah, he stopped for 5 minutes and continued to "suan" me in the theatre. =_=lll But niar mind, I got my revenge soon coz he was critisizing that my phone wallpaper was childish, I shoot back, claiming it's better than his MSN pic, who was a very chio Korean chick but also a chao ah-gua, and that he had no QC for chio bus. Idiotic dickhead.

I swore I shall never treat him like a guy again, treat him like a dumb-dumb.

Busy Busy Busy

A very busy week, coz busy with exercise, busy with hall, busy with schoolwork and projects, and busy with neopets. Ha ha... Anyway... today is Saturday, shall relax and buck up for monday's test! Think I going back tonight to hall... I only know how to watch tv and use PC at home niah, so must chop chop go hostel and study.

Weighed myself last night, before I started munching on crackers, new year goodies, and a cup of milo at 1am, I was 76kg. Update next week, if there's any losses. Hee hee.

V-day coming, hiaz... I used to have PZ to be my "lesbian" partner, now she got herself a "playboy", duhz... I'm so lonely... Roomie said, V-day going to coop herself in the hostel, think I'm going to join her. Wah ha ha ha....

Sometimes I really don't understand, it seems like if u have no dates on V-day, very loserish. I never used to think like that, until one fine V-day, you see all the couples on the road with roses, wah sia, you really don't feel normal. No wonder Roomie said she want to stay in hall.

I think I better set up something for myself to do, if not very loserish. That is, study, wash clothes, and play games on Tuesday. LOL.

Challenge is on!

That's it man! I'm gonna night jogging every Mon, Wed and Fri, after cooling down, do 2 sets of crunches, 15 each and try Dip (spelt this way? It's like push up the other way round), maybe 3 sets of 5. And with my kickboxing session on Saturday, I doubt that I can't even lose 5kg - 6kg, deadline last day of June (allowance for exam period). I am serious this time!!! I'm going to be TAF (Trim & Fit)! Shall weigh myself every Saturday to monitor my progress! 我这次来真的，我要减肥！！！This is just a small step to my big goal! LH, thanks for being my jogging kaki!!! I don't hope, I must lose the 5 kg!!! The downside of night jogging: I am hungry, very hungry, *stomach growls*

ENDURE!!!!!

Birthday Elephants

I received a 2 birthday cards this year, one was from LH, the other was from SH and HL. All 3 of them were my secondary classmates and they had shared presents for my 16th birthday. I must say, they still have the 默契 (mutual thoughts) despite so many years. Look at the cards they gave me:

LH's on the left, SH's and HL's on the right

Okie pple, I caught your hint. I am trying very hard to lose weight now lah... =(

(I know it's just a coincidence that both chose elephants, no real under meanings, =], so relax lah, I'm not really bothered by elephants, but next time got buy pig pig lah, ha ha ha ha)

Is Jia alright?

Those who know Jia Jia, do you all ever read her blog? I think she is having split personalities, she sometimes guest blog on her own blog as Jamie, sure it is funny, but I'm worried that she is going crazy coz she spent too much time with Jamie, that she starts to think she is Jamie? I think Jamie did too many blunders that Jia buay tahan, that she wished she is Jamie so that she won't do so many mistakes. Is it? =P

P/S: This is writing in corresponds to "Jamie's" blog, =D.

Running effort kanna flush down into toilet

After the 3 rounds of effort yesterday, all went down to the toilet bowl today. Why? Coz my after dinner "snacks" were very highly poisonous in calories.

Summary:

Breakfast @8am: 2 Apollo brand chocolate cakes

Brunch @10am: 1 teh ni, and tom yam yong tau foo, with bee hoon

Dinner @ 6.30pm: 1 Time-out chocolate, 1 duck kuay teow & mee, 1 walnut brownie (belated birthday cake slice, courtesy of Roomie & KCQ, finished 40% only)

Supper @ 10pm: n slices of egg sandwiches, n sotong balls, 1 prata kosong, 1 satay, 1 chocolate mini pie, 1 fish fillet, 2 cups of green tea, 1 mini chocolate bar.

See, whatever I ate today complement the calories I burn yesterday. And to think I tried to keep away from rice, makes no difference since I ate kinda a lot for supper. Niah mind, this coming saturday I have kickboxing class, shall use my 100% energy!

The cake slice was really a surprise, Roomie was still trying to lure me to go toilet with KCQ, but it happened that my water intake for today wasn't high and there was no urgency, so in the end she "went" while KY (KCQ) and me we went to the mart located at the cafe to buy some stuffs. And I really gong gong believed them altho they were whispering very obviously behind my back. Being the KPO, I kept asking KY what did they whisper, and she replied "Bad things about you lor!". Ha ha, anyway, I wasn't sensitive enough to suspect anything altho I suspected a little while I was in the mart, but I just attributed it as fantasizing that they would surprise me lah. And I really never expected it during dinner. I am grateful, coz it's almost 1 week since my birthday. I had learned to appreciate kindness and thoughtfulness, and I almost felt that it was my broadcasting (on how I spent my birthday) that made them obligated to have a mini celebration. I am so paiseh and touched. They also bought me a Chachos, asking my preference between cheese or BBQ flavour. I choose cheese coz I like. I really thought KY bought it for her "ration". A gazillion thanks to those who gave me presents, I really appreciate the thoughts behind it.

Such an irony, I went to bed feeling hungry last night. Today, is sleeping with a full stomach. Thinking whether to go jogging tmr or not... My face is so nice to squeeze now, haiz... Double Chins are back here on visit again, must get rid of them!!!

I am very happy...

It felt really good to sweat it out-went to jog at the stadium, and I managed to run 3 rounds, which is equivalent to 1.2km. No stopping at all, well, I must say I'm pretty amazed by myself that after 6 months of inactivity, 3 rounds are quite a feat. Almost wanna stop at 2, luckily, my running partner LH pushed me on. Thanks LH!

And today, I received my first present from her for this year (not counting the thingS I buy for myself, *chuckles). Such a sweet and thoughful lady, I merely said that her shawl looked very nice, and she bought one for me as birthday gift. I am really very touched. It is a brownish beige colour shawl, very nice and quality is damn good. Now I'm feeling very ashamed, I could not remember when was the last time I give her a present, I think it was just some birthday sms. I did not even send her a sms last year! Haiz... shame on me... :( This year must return favour, so tell me what you want, k? =D Eh... Like that like not sincere, never mind, I treat u some day! =D

Just realised I still owe a lot of people birthday gifts, and money for a sec fren's shared present. Die... I shall ask them out while it's still CNY mood, if not later everyone will be busy with tests and exams liao... including me. =(

BTW, I also very buay hiao byte and broadcast to some frens my birthday, hee hee, coz I like people to know it's my birthday and wished me. Never mind presents, those are bonus, a simple wish I very happy liao. Like Flower wished me a belated birthday, although there was no surprise, but still, I am happy.

I better go and sleep liao, my stomach is growling. Lights out!