- Goldfish: This type is kinda irritating for everytime the first sentence they ask after the usual "Hi", is "what we chatted last time?" Worse, he ask you to re-intro again. Like a goldfish which has short term memory (3 seconds). What the fuckanaer! I think they talked to many girls at one time, asking the same thing to every lady but never bother to really remember them. Please lah guys, now almost all chat program allows you to keep track of history, so fucking use it! At least next time when you talk to the girl again, forget what you chatted last time? Check the history dude! Girls, to deal with this type, send him the "history" file if you have. Don't have? Tell him to search his brain then and add him to ignore list! I've met 2 before and they irritated the hell of out me. I am a very nice person and I tolerated until all my hair fallen off because everytime I chatted with them, I need to pull my hair, distort my face in agony and shout: Goddamnit! No wonder I'm ugly, thanks to Goldfish!
- Fakerdonis: This bunch of guys, appear to be very gentlemen, can chat everything under the sun and there isn't any signs they are pervert (i.e. asking the girls whether they had sex or anything related to sex). Yet, the moment they ask for a pic of yours (remember to get theirs too!) and unluckily, you don't appeal to them when they see it, you might notice they will go offline immediately. If they happen to be online again, and girls, we being the most sensitive living things on earth, ask them what happen last time, their answer is very standard, "Oh! I suddenly got disconnected." Then they will procede to tell you they are busy (Shitting with the laptop inside toilet? Busy then don't online lah) and can't chat, blah blah blah. Ladies, delete them off the list immediately, for there isn't any chance they will talk to you again, till donkey years later, they might suddenly message you again for they would have deleted your pic/happen to still keep your contact but no chat/properly had a brain accident but don't remember that you were once the ugly duckling they had once thought. If they ask you for a pic again, send them an edited pic of him (that's why you must get hold of their pic), with the words slammed across their faces, BASTARD! Then SOP, add them to ignore list.
- Horny Fucker: Most hated of all, for they are just a bunch of horny air brains both top and below looking for holes. Either they want to meet you for sex, if not they wanna have some cyber fun. To deal with those cyber fuckers, pretty easy. SOP, simply add them to ignore list immediately. But being the meanie I am in cyberworld, I have a great time pissing them off for my own enjoyment. See below:
HF: Hey! Wanna have some cyber fun with me?
Me: Fuck off
HF: Hell, I wanna fuck you. Come on!
Me: Okie, fuck you back. Hope you had enjoyed the quickie! Bye bastard.
SOP-add to ignore list.
To deal with those fuckers who persisted you to have sex with them, the best way to deal with them is to show them that you are hornier, and more hiong than them. Guarantee chop chop that they will not disturb you again. Some tactics I use are listed below:
- Be frank and tell them, "Want to have sex ar? Can, send me a pic of your dick coz I want to see how big they are. Since you just want have sex, I must make sure they are of good quality you know. Don't have 8 inches I don't want."
- Let them know you are a BIG fan of SM. You can say things like you always play a DOM and you love to pee inside your partner's mouth. There are a lot of crazy things you can say for SM is crazy.
- Ask him for his pic, tell him you want to see how "fuckable looking" he is. This is an indirect way of telling him you want someone good-looking. Unless he's very sure he's Adonis, most prob they will target at other girls again for they will not want to waste their time to tackle on someone who cannot guarantee them sex.
- Do the above-mentioned "cyberfuck".
Take note: If #3 doesn't work, procede to #1. If he happens to have an 8-inch brother, try #2. If he happen to be a crazy fan of this SM, do the #4 and the SOP immediately.
All these should be able to work well, for those adonis with an 8-inch penis will be hooking up with beautiful women at the pub, where got time to online at night? Those people are losers, they can't hook women in real life, so they search online lor.
Some of you might be thinking, why do all these stuffs when I can just add them to ignore list without going through the trouble. Well, you see, they waste by my time talking to them, just ignoring them doesn't appease me. So by doing all these, at least I'm happy knowing that I teach these fuckananers a lesson. Even if they are not pissed off, I enjoyed dealing these methods of them. Just ignoring them will lead them to think, "Okie, I'll find another one then." Must show them female power mah!
Now for the last type:
Mr Good Guy: No need much elaboration, they are totally opposites of the above-mentioned and if everything between you and him goes well, he might end up becoming your boyfriend.
Hope this is useful for all of you ladies. ;)
The author is currently an undergradute in a SG university. She had written this aritcle purely from her piont of view and hearsay she's a bit ga-ga (short circuit in her brain) due to too much studying. Blogging is her new found interest lately. Other than being bitchy sometimes to people she hated who stepped on har tail first, overall she's a nice lady who does not anyhow bite. Stay tune for her new entries in this column! ^_^
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