Argh... Silly things always happen to me.

That's it that's it... argh...

I was having a very nice nap, totally forgetting there was a room check today (They want to make sure you are following the rules and regulations). I had only slept for about 30 minutes when they banged the door like crazy. After I grabbed my spectacle and headed to the door, the auntie who had a spare key, already open the door. When she saw me, she quickly apologized and shut the door before I can respond to anything. I bet I must have scare her off with my just-out-of-the-bed look. You know, messed-up hair, rolled up tee, mouth partially open, maybe salivating a bit...

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Pic taken from http://www.kamelottkennels.com/CB/Pics/Week%204/nina-mouth-open.jpg

I wished I was looking adorable like this too.

About Online Guys

Aiyoh...yesterday's dart game was a bit crappy, I was a sharpshooter at one moment, the next moment I was out of the board. Like, I was able to hit the 2 shots of 19 (one was a triple-19 somemore), the next moment I'm hitting the softboard. My captain and senior teased me, "Wah! Why you like that one? One moment so zhai, next moment kanasai leh! Concentrate!!!" LOLx.

It was goddamn coincidental, I met my friend's cousin through ICQ yesterday. So holy shitty qiao! He was my junior in MIT too. SG is really very the small, like that can also meet friend's cousin. I also chatted with an interesting guy too. While most online guys will initiate a conversation starting with "Hi, intro please?" or "Hi, care to chat?" or "Hi, mind to chat" and all those boring sentences starting with "Hi". He did a bit of homework by reading my blog (I post it under 'Homepage') and he introduced himself as SQ216. So cute hor? It's so refreshing after those damn years of "Hi intro pls". This guy is very cute when he used "aeroplane" terminology to tell me more about him. If every guy is like him, the cyberworld will be a better place!

ICQ was one of the lao jiaos in online chatting, but recent years, MSN Messenger has won over many people due to the user-friendliness and cute functions it has, so is Yahoo Messenger. MSN brother, Windows Messenger, a built-in software that comes with Windows XP, is not at all favourable, for it's usage is machiam so old fashioned, like going back to the Stone Age period. IRC? Not really for me... I hardly use it, but I think it was the pioneer of all these chat, wasn't it?

Anyway, my main point is not about these online chat softwares, if I continue to rant on I can write an essay on it. Actually, I wanna blog to you active ladychatters about the guys we will meet in online chatting. With the increase popularity in online dating, I thought I should come up with a guide on how to deal with these different people. So, let me present you(drum rolls)

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The "Ultimate Guide to dealing with Online Dickheads"

According to my years of experience of chatting, these guys are categorized as follow:

• Goldfish: This type is kinda irritating for everytime the first sentence they ask after the usual "Hi", is "what we chatted last time?" Worse, he ask you to re-intro again. Like a goldfish which has short term memory (3 seconds). What the fuckanaer! I think they talked to many girls at one time, asking the same thing to every lady but never bother to really remember them. Please lah guys, now almost all chat program allows you to keep track of history, so fucking use it! At least next time when you talk to the girl again, forget what you chatted last time? Check the history dude! Girls, to deal with this type, send him the "history" file if you have. Don't have? Tell him to search his brain then and add him to ignore list! I've met 2 before and they irritated the hell of out me. I am a very nice person and I tolerated until all my hair fallen off because everytime I chatted with them, I need to pull my hair, distort my face in agony and shout: Goddamnit! No wonder I'm ugly, thanks to Goldfish!

• Fakerdonis: This bunch of guys, appear to be very gentlemen, can chat everything under the sun and there isn't any signs they are pervert (i.e. asking the girls whether they had sex or anything related to sex). Yet, the moment they ask for a pic of yours (remember to get theirs too!) and unluckily, you don't appeal to them when they see it, you might notice they will go offline immediately. If they happen to be online again, and girls, we being the most sensitive living things on earth, ask them what happen last time, their answer is very standard, "Oh! I suddenly got disconnected." Then they will procede to tell you they are busy (Shitting with the laptop inside toilet? Busy then don't online lah) and can't chat, blah blah blah. Ladies, delete them off the list immediately, for there isn't any chance they will talk to you again, till donkey years later, they might suddenly message you again for they would have deleted your pic/happen to still keep your contact but no chat/properly had a brain accident but don't remember that you were once the ugly duckling they had once thought. If they ask you for a pic again, send them an edited pic of him (that's why you must get hold of their pic), with the words slammed across their faces, BASTARD! Then SOP, add them to ignore list.

• Horny Fucker: Most hated of all, for they are just a bunch of horny air brains both top and below looking for holes. Either they want to meet you for sex, if not they wanna have some cyber fun. To deal with those cyber fuckers, pretty easy. SOP, simply add them to ignore list immediately. But being the meanie I am in cyberworld, I have a great time pissing them off for my own enjoyment. See below:

HF: Hey! Wanna have some cyber fun with me?

Me: Fuck off

HF: Hell, I wanna fuck you. Come on!

Me: Okie, fuck you back. Hope you had enjoyed the quickie! Bye bastard.

SOP-add to ignore list.

To deal with those fuckers who persisted you to have sex with them, the best way to deal with them is to show them that you are hornier, and more hiong than them. Guarantee chop chop that they will not disturb you again. Some tactics I use are listed below:

1. Be frank and tell them, "Want to have sex ar? Can, send me a pic of your dick coz I want to see how big they are. Since you just want have sex, I must make sure they are of good quality you know. Don't have 8 inches I don't want."
2. Let them know you are a BIG fan of SM. You can say things like you always play a DOM and you love to pee inside your partner's mouth. There are a lot of crazy things you can say for SM is crazy.
3. Ask him for his pic, tell him you want to see how "fuckable looking" he is. This is an indirect way of telling him you want someone good-looking. Unless he's very sure he's Adonis, most prob they will target at other girls again for they will not want to waste their time to tackle on someone who cannot guarantee them sex.
4. Do the above-mentioned "cyberfuck".

Take note: If #3 doesn't work, procede to #1. If he happens to have an 8-inch brother, try #2. If he happen to be a crazy fan of this SM, do the #4 and the SOP immediately.

All these should be able to work well, for those adonis with an 8-inch penis will be hooking up with beautiful women at the pub, where got time to online at night? Those people are losers, they can't hook women in real life, so they search online lor.

Some of you might be thinking, why do all these stuffs when I can just add them to ignore list without going through the trouble. Well, you see, they waste by my time talking to them, just ignoring them doesn't appease me. So by doing all these, at least I'm happy knowing that I teach these fuckananers a lesson. Even if they are not pissed off, I enjoyed dealing these methods of them. Just ignoring them will lead them to think, "Okie, I'll find another one then." Must show them female power mah!

Now for the last type:

Mr Good Guy: No need much elaboration, they are totally opposites of the above-mentioned and if everything between you and him goes well, he might end up becoming your boyfriend.

Hope this is useful for all of you ladies. ;)

The author is currently an undergradute in a SG university. She had written this aritcle purely from her piont of view and hearsay she's a bit ga-ga (short circuit in her brain) due to too much studying. Blogging is her new found interest lately. Other than being bitchy sometimes to people she hated who stepped on har tail first, overall she's a nice lady who does not anyhow bite. Stay tune for her new entries in this column! ^_^

A reminder to MYSELF (hope it works though)

STOP BLOGGING AND STUDY FOR MY BLOODY EE2008! QUIZ IS ON NEXT TUESDAY! STILL LOOK! SHUT DOWN THE BLOODY LAPTOP AND STUDY!

some thoughts before I sleep

Was msning with my sister just now, she said some really funny things, better blog it down. Wanted to cut and paste the conversation, but didn't know that I did not activate my saved history, oh well...

As mentioned, I did not go back home last week. So I was asking my sister whether my hamster still alive or not, for he's quite old. Jacq answered rather gleefully, "Good, still alive and kicking. But unfortuntely..."

"Remind me to change his wood shavings. Unfortunately what?" I msned back.

"Don't worry, the smell will remind you. I'm using a lot of perseverance to use the PC now" (Note: Hamster's cage is just beside PC in my room)

"Why leh?"

"Your hamster's poo poo lah! Very smelly leh!"

Hahaha, I had forgotten what she exactly said, but it was so funny that I'm trying to gek my laughter coz my roomie was alseep.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My sister is just so funny!

Anyway, recently bought a new shampoo brand starting with O. I took a whiff at it and thought the mild flower smell was very nice, and I bought the large bottle with free small bottle. Grave mistake... Should not change my usual shampoo. When I used it that night, I thought I had sprayed insecticide on my head. >_<

No wonder I'm spared from the neighbouring buggy attack these few days. LOL.

exam stress, thinking about nonsense things

Hee hee my roomie so nice, bought me a pack of Hello Panda biscuits when she came back. I was a bit stunned at first that she bought me biscuits like little kid, so I cheekily thanked her, saying, "Thank you zeh zeh!" Haha, and she replied with humour too, "Big sis take care little sis, 应该的。 "

Haiz... super stressed siah... exams starting on 2nd November, I hate being stress, coz I will end up eating a lot to curb my stress. Now that I'm in hall, maybe I won't eat a lot coz my room has nothing for me to eat. Maybe like that I will slim down leh... hope so, I shall aim for 65kg at the end of December. Bleahz...

It's weird not to go home for the week... Now exams coming near, the more I won't go back that often... Miss my bed at home...Miss my mother's cooking... Miss my little sister's "大姐， 你回来啦！" and cheeky smile...and my very old hamster, hope he's still alive. Haiz.... I shall go home this Friday.

Was reading Jacq's blog, a lot of thinking. It's so true of some people, always exclaim, "No lah, I didn't study for it, sure fail one." But when they see the questions, it was so easy for them I can even hear them chunkling under their breathe. If they did study, why not admit it? Is it so cool to be in the "din study" gang meh? Or they want to show to people that, "Oh I didn't study but I got good grades for it so I'm very clever?" or to prove they have Lady Luck on their side. I'm those who really didn't study but people don't believe...I really need Lady Luck on my side but she doesn't favour me. I want 10% of Einstein's brain and I will be very happy, or better make my brain like computer, P4 speed and unlimited memory and space, so that I won't forget anything. With a brain like that, confirm 1st class honour siah....wah hahahaha

The stress is making me 胡思乱想: What if I fail all my modules? What if the school kicked me out? Bank loan how? Argh...

Think less of those and use the time to study lah!!! Hmm... I should blog less too.

Poooooooooot!

所为“响屁不臭，臭屁不响” （loud fart don't smell, silent fart smell）, I must say, I totally worship this sentence. On Saturday, I encountered a total of 4 farts, from 2 people. How suay can I be to encounter this? I say, the chance is less than kanna birdshit lor.

I had mentioned that Saturday was my Physics test. It was kinda difficult, for I did not study the chapter 5 and 6 thoroughly, so the last 2 questions I had a hard time figuring how to do it. While I was thinking deeply how to do the questions, a low frequency

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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!

Holy crap, it was damn smelly can! And I couldn't concentrate after that and I left only tmd 15 mins lor. Tried to protect my lungs from the "poisonous gas" using my sweater, but it was so concentrated that it managed to pass through the sweater and yeah, into my lungs. Feel like fainting. Oh Gross!

Anyway, after that, I went out with some friends for a movie. While we were in the lift, one guy gave 3 loud farts! Poot! Pooooot! Poooooooooot! Yeah yeah, he said sorry watever shit, we shoot him a dirty look. But weirdly, it didn't smell. Heng ar, if not Sunday's headline will be "Poisonous fart cause the death of 3 people".

When I was in poly, I had even smelled more deadly one okie. We were having committee meeting, in this really tiny room, about the size of a storeroom like that, with AIRCON! Halfway through, I smelled something but thought I was over sensitive and didn't say it out. But when my VP (quite a tactless person) shouted, "Wah Lau, who farted?" Then I realise I was not the only one who smelled it, we hastily opened the door and caught some fresh air. The guy was damn paiseh and blushed... his one is really Silent Deadly Gas.

Not that I don't fart, but at least have the courtesy to go toilet mah, which 1 of my galfriends did that while we were at an Pulau Ubin's resort. Although later the smell still flowed out (that guy quickly denied), she got the courage to say, "It's me, that's why I went to bathroom but still...."

Anyway, now in hostel, can hear different types okie. Long one short one melodic one bombastic one any kind.

I just realised my life is full of shit and fart hor, jiat lat.

Let Phileine teach you how to do a proper blowjob

Yawn... Finally the Physics quiz ended, but exams coming, really need to get my ass to study hard. After the quiz yesterday, I realised I'm very very very weak. I couldn't do half of the questions. Jiat Lat... :( I don't want to da bao for next semester!!!!! I shall study study study and blogging. Hee hee.

After the quiz yesterday, went to watch movie with a friend, "The Devil's Rejects". Sounds cool huh, the word "devil" deceived us into watching. This movie is the worst I ever seen. No storyline, no climax, no plot, no explanation, no yan daos, only chio bus (wat phak, we gals also want to see yan dao leh), got freaks, got ah peks, got gruesome killing scene, got aunties flirting, fuck is in every sentence, lame jokes, the suppose good guy kills more gruesomely than the bad guys, and bad guys suddenly become victims, good guy kanna killed, bad guys died in somewhat a heroic manner. What lousy superwhite movie is this? The fuckananer something wrong in his head. The director is Rob Zombie, no wonder. A Zombie's movie isn't for human viewing pleasure. Even the website is stupid, I clicked "Skip intro" so that I don't have to wait phaking long, in the end it still leads me to a flash website that needs to phaking download. Lousy show has lousy website. The sound effects was so goddamn irritating whenever I mouseover something. Wah Biangz Eh! Heng I don't have to pay for this show. It's so lousy that a couple left 30 minutes later. Those remaining are couples smooching in the dark, not watching the goddamn show and we got to watch other free shows, those loners I think wanking to Baby (the only chio one) in the dark, maybe?

One scene I find it stupid, Baby (1 of the killers, very chio) was doing a sexy dance to the rhythm of this catchy phrase, "Chi-nese... Ja-panese... See my knees" and then jingle her boobs. What the fuckanana.

I shall move on to "Be With Me".

It is a local film done by Eric Khoo, based on Theresa Tan's story. Theresa is a blind and deaf lady. "Be With Me" was actually a title of her poem. She had approached Eric to do this film. There were 3 stories which intersect in between, and Theresa will sometimes pop out of the scene. Storyline? I dunno, coz this is an artistic film, so it is meant for people who are right-brain, they appreciate such 抽象 matters. I'm a left-brained who do maths better than drawing, so I can't comment much. The show is a bit draggy (艺术的 movie 好像都是 jiang 的 hor), but not boring. According to an unoffical statistic done, the whole show has less than 20 lines. The 1st line was, "Uncle! Orh Lua Jit Pua!" (Uncle! A plate of oysters omelette!).

Up next, highlight of this blog, "Phileine Says Sorry".

This is a Dutch film, it is so damn funny. Like "The Devil's Reject", the word "fuck" appear more than 80% of the lines. However, there is story line, there is plot, got yandaos and chio bus, got nice sceneries. It also teach you how to do a proper blowjob, wah hahaha, I'll come to that later.

Phileine is a stubborn girl who nevers says sorry and she hated the word too. So all her exs were jerks till she met Max. So things were happy for her and Max until one day, Max told her that he was going to New York for an exchange theatre program with other international students, and a famous director. So Phileine let him went there.

Phileine decide to give him a surprise visit at New York. What do ang mohs couple do when they see each after long time? 一日不见， 如隔三秋。 Well they fucked lah, what else. Philene is a powerhouse, so she's quite hiong, and weird. When she saw Max (mind you, she was in a ready to fuck position, on top of Max), she said, "When I saw you, the first thing I wanted to do was to suck your dick, make you super horny ......(can't remember) and shoot me across the room but now I changed my mind." Max obviously wasn't very happy that she turned him on and now letting him play himself meh. So he made Phileine lie down on the bed, and said with a sexy Dutch accent, "Hmm.. I don't like rough sex for now, but Chinese had an idiom, 'Making Rain and Water', which sound better than rough hardcore sex, and let's start making rain with water". Phileine replied, "I don't know what 'Making Rain and Water' means, I only know it sounded damn sexy and makes me horny". Then as they start to kiss, lick, hug, I think the tap in Max's room also hot and horny and started to jerk itself and the water from it falls like rain, like that not enough, there were thunder and lightning. They are really depicting 'Making Rain and Water' (翻腾覆雨). We laughed like mad. (I must have been so engrossed that's why I din realised my pouch dropped on the floor.)

This show has a lot of funny sexual scenes, like one, Phileine and Crotch (Phileine called her this, don't know her name) were faking orgasm in a restaurant after 2 Americans shared their views on fake orgasm. The whole restaurant was looking at them. Ok, now the part on blowjob. I shall put it as a dialogue between the 2 of them (edited a bit coz it was quite long):

Crotch: Do you use your tougue when doing blowjob?

Phileine, recalling as she partially sticked her tougue out: I think so, what's up?

Crotch: We have to re-learn. Last night I was giving this guy a head. I thought he will enjoy it very much if I licked his diong diong crazy. But he shouted me to stop and ask me what the fuck I was doing? He said the the real art to blowjob is to make it feel like the dick is fucking a vagina, and does vagina has tougue? No!

Phileine: So how do we go about it?

Crotch: Open your mouth and say "ho...ly...", don't move your lips and tougue when saying.

Wahahaha, so ironic siah! They are teaching blowjob using the word "holy". Next time when I curse, I shall curse "Ho....ly.... ch88by8", yeah? wah hahahaha.

Anyway, the climax was Phileine found out that Max had to do real fucking scene with the main lead actress, Joanne, she went bersek and on the day of premier, she screwed the whole thing up. It was a big hoo-haa for it was part of the Shakespere's Festival. Max was angry with her but in the end, he decided to follow Phileine and gave up his acting. However, before he managed to find Phileine in the crazy mob of reporters, she had left with Joanne's husband. 他做初一，她就做十五lor.

Anyway, Max knew she went off with Joanne's husband and had fucked him, but he would only forgive her if she apologized. But she tek gong and Max, angered, left her stranded outside a pizza shop. He had prepared her a gift. Inside the box was a invitation to an AIDS relief party (another ironic part, the people at the party were fucking each other lor, and the theme was have protected sex, what phak!) Phileine went to find him. So the story ended with Phileine apologizing and Max forgave her lah!

When the showed ended, we were laughing and some scenes. Then I was joking to my friend, " I got a shocked when I saw we were sitting in between 3 ah nehs(so qiao lor), I was so scared they will start wanking. Luckily this show isn't harcore porno like those in Yang Tze, if not we have to wear poncho." My friend, having the same sense of humour as me, "I was having the same thoughts lor!" and we started laughing.

Then we also imitated the holy thing. Ke ke ke.

Come, repeat after me and say, "Ho...Ly..."

I just can't stop blogging!!!

Okie, I went back on my word again, but I dun care, I want to blog my thoughts on Survivor while it's still fresh out of my brain. I promise I will get my ass to study Physics later.

I think Blake is just lazing around, using his sickness as an excuse. Look at him during the Reward Challenge, he does not look sick to me. I hate suck phakernana guy, and Margaret the nurse is spoiling him.

During the reward challenge, it was such a close fight, I was hoping Yaxha will win, but they lost by just a horsenose (马鼻). Too bad lah, Rafe just couldn't get his ass out of the murky river, but they manage to pull the race close too. Anyway, nice fight! Oh yah, Gary proved one thing, "deng kar deng chiu (long hands long legs) makes you clumsy". Hmm.. sounds like someone I know.. eh.. Joking.

Lydia is just so sweet, how could they wanted to vote her out? She grind the corns and catch fishes. Yah yah, Morgan may be young, sweet and with a good sense a balance, but being lazy also means that if she and Lydia were to fight to the end, her laziness will bring her nothing. Lydia, being a mature woman, I'm sure she can fight as well as a 20 year old. A plus point for her, she can catch fish! Never mind that they didn't win the tools for catching fish, Lydia the Fishmonger can summon all the fishes at her bidding! Like The Pipe Piper who summon all the mouses. BTW, it was gross to see Rafe and Gary eating ants. I see liao also feel like vomiting like Blake.

The Immunity challenge, only one word: STUPID! What was Gary and Jamie thinking? And to think they resorted to use that tactic again, i.e. suddenly let loose of the rope (er.. it wasn't intentional is it?) Okie, watever, since he couldn't win, why did he (Jamie) wants to continue palying? Are there no other guys? He should have conserve his energy! He should attend my school's FE0001, teach him on energy conservation. I think they knew Rafe was weak, that's why they didn't let him play.

Anyway, I was glad that Yaxha didn't make the wrong choice voting Morgan out. In my opinion, it's unfair to vote a hardworking person out just because the lazy one was younger (=more strength). However, this also showed that the people in Yaxha is easily swayed. I can expect a good show coming...

Catch the story here. I will do a link on the side when I'm free.

BTW, Don't you all think Steph looks rather yummy with such a nice, gorgeous chocholate tan.Hmm, I LOVE chocolate! I think her boyfriend will agree with me that she is yummy. Ke ke ke.

I adore her very much. She's tough! Like Jamie said during Tribal Council, she's a girl who fights like a boy! Well, not surprising, she's the only girl out of her 5 siblings. Such gal is tough! Don't mess with her ar! I hope I can go to Survivor Finale to see her... Oh... Maybe I should do a coverage on Survivor 11: Guatemala, funny version.

That reminds me, I used visit a Survivor comic site which was damn funny. I see if I can find and I'll post it up. But I'm not too sure if the artist is still drawing. It has been a year since I last visted the website.

Okie, I will go and study my Physics now.

I can't help but believe it.

I was browsing My Yahoo page when I saw my today's horoscope:

Recently, I have an intense interest in blogging!!! I wonder who is that woman... so thrilled!

BTW, I lied. I said I will only update on Saturday, but I just couldn't keep my hands off the new laptop. =)

Anyway... Bless me I can do it for my Physics Quiz tomorrow. Don't think I will blog on Survivor tonight, maybe tmr? ^_^

Why do I always encounter stupid people?

So phakanana pissed. I'm very tired, so I shall make my blog short short.

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THE NEXT PHAKING SUPERWHITE WHO FIDGET IN LECTURE SEATS I'M GONNA CHOP THE LEGS UP, COOK IT WITH CURRY AND THEN FEED THEM TO THE HORNY AH PU NEI WORKERS WHO ALWAYS OGLE AT GIRLS, MAY DEATH UPON THEM!

Ok, I admit that I do shake my leg, but not at lectures. I only shake leg at home k. The 1st time I encounter shaking leg gal, I got so pissed off that I told her to stop shaking, I'm getting seasick. The 2nd time was the same gal, I stared at her and she stopped. Today, it was a gal from some other course, she not only shake and fidget, she also keep adjusting her seat and you know, like fall back onto the seat and the vibration will travel all the way to JB. I try to counter attack (The whole stretch only 2 of us sitting) but she don't seem to get the hint. So I remained motionless, since she's nerveless. And to think I have to be hoa lang and lend her my notes. Cursing her deep inside.

But like my friend said, at least you won't doze off during lecture since someone is shaking the chair to keep u awake.

Maybe this is why I'm so angry: I can't sleep with vibration mode on. (.\ _ /.)

I think the recent quizzes stressed me too much that I become very evil.

Blogging... (does not relate to my entry since I will digress very much later, so who cares?!?)

Warning: Disgusting entry, do not eat, especially chocolates while reading

Wah kaoz... The rain makes me so damn sleepy that I can't remember what I want to blog. Just now in the lecture was thinking, "Quickly end leh, I want to go back hostel to blog." But then after a bowl of nice yummy beefball kway tiao down my throat, I practically forgot what I wanted to say... But then as I write, I remember liao.

Just now I had my most excruciating moment. 让我从头细说。。。

I drink a cup of coffee every morning, except weekends lah since no lesson. In the past, it was a catalyst for my bowel movement, but in recent years it don't seem to work anymore, except occasionally. The past 2 days nothing happened when I downed the coffee. However, today, the alarm rang quite late, if not I will settle it before going for lectures. And so, today I had a 3 hrs lecture.

1st hr: Good, the caffeine worked and I didn't go fishing with Uncle Zhou.

2nd hr: Still wide awake...except the last 5 minutes coz the lecture was rather boring and I didn't have to write any side notes=no movement=sleepy.

1st 30 mins of 3rd hr: Stomach growling very loudly. Time to eat! Hmm.. thinking of eating the beefball noodle later at Canteen 2...

Next 15mins: An acute pain struck my breadbasket, and I could feel the air energy inside slowly building up the power... Wah lao eh....

Keep fidgeting, because of the coldness in the lecture theatre, hungriness and the urge to poot. Cannot concentrate what the lecturer was saying.

Can you imagine that? Cold+hungry+ the "urge", what a dreadful feeling. Suddenly, I wonder how the Eskimos do their "business" since they live in igloos?

Talking about poot, reminds me of a story.

本人的故事，纯属虚遘。 如有雷同，是我拿了一些 ideas 改编的。So don't come after me for copyright hor...

Long long time ago, there lived family of 5. Papa Bear, Mama Bear and their 3 daughters, and they were named Ah Kim (Gold), Ah Yin (Silver) and Pearl (the youngest had the most chic name). As you all can see from their names, Ah Kim and Ah Yin, were born in the Metal Age, thus their names. Pearl was born so much later than them, by then, it was a civilised period so must name her nice nice so that she will fit into the norms of the society later (i.e orh bit names were very difficult to remember while chic name like Pearl was easily inprinted into the people's memory). Anyway, I am relating this story about poot. So one fine day...

Ah Kim and Ah Yin were busy searching the bookshelf for... honey, to give for Pooh Bear's birthday.

Ah Yin: Alamak, I feel like poot poot.

Ah Kim: Go lah, if not later you shit here you will feed the flies, then the bees will be unhappy.

Ah Yin: Neber mind lah, I endure a while more and help you search. The feeling is not that urgent anyway.

Ah Kim: Ok, you mind looking below see the honey is there anot?

Ah Yin: Can can, I'll do it.

And so, Ah Yin squat down to search for honey. After 1 minute...

Ah Yin: Wah biangz!!! Tak boleh tahan liao lah, this squating is too tempting for my ass. Wo ai pang sai liao.

And Ah Yin happily go and make "chocolate cakes".

Morale of the story: Try squating when you have the ai pang sai buay sai pang (want to shit but cannot shit) feeling.

The End

Poor Bunny!

P/S: Physics Quiz on Saturday, so there will be no new entry till Saturday night. Maybe I will blog on Philene Says Sorry (The R21 movie, ^_^Y)

Ang Moh Eat Mooncakes

Just went to Hall 9's Mid-Autumn Festival mini Celebration. Nothing traditional about it, basically it's just singing and games. I think there was 猜登谜 and 欠扁问答题, but I didn't participate coz by the time I was there, almost finished. Was there listening to 2 very extreme singers. One was so bad that I feel like stuffing the mooncake in his ass mouth so that he will stop singing. The girl she sang very well. I ate 2 mooncakes (cut one lah, not the full mooncakes) and then left for my darts training. BTW, the way the ang moh eat the mooncakes so cute. I dunno why, maybe because we are so used to seeing black hair yellow skin eat mooncakes. This is the first time I see blonde hair blue eyes eating mooncake, quite a sight. Wonder what were they thinking when they eat the mooncakes? Were they thinking "Nice mooncakes?" or "Weird cakes weird names weird taste, but since it's free, whatever." Don't think they so cheapskate like some us lah hor.

Anyway, during the darts training, captain BP was telling me that, senior JH and darts IC Fortune Cat told him that my hands raise too high up when I aimed the higher numbers. Then I asked, "They find it funny and weird huh?" "Yah", replied BP.

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OHMYGOODNESSGRACIOUSME!

Why didn't they tell me in the face? Huh? Huh? I was so embarassed ok... Anyway, what's so funny with my hand raising up? Can see smoke coming out from my armpits is it? If it was really like that, then it is funny. Anyway, as a senior and captain, they didn't correct me. Really KNS. Fortune Cat just now even asked, "You aiming high numbers ar, raise your hand high high ar !" (he said something like that). Wah lau, feel like arrowing my darts at his butt (woah! it rhymes), solid enough. :P

Rockson Rocks!

Wah sai, I was introduced to this chor lor blogger (he said he not beng, just chor) by my friend today, Rockson Takumi Tan, coz we were talking about blogging. He is sibe tok gong man... every sentence sure got KNNBCCB lah, F**k lah, L** Ch**w lah, I read until I sibe high. I want to continue reading but then, got this kuai lan quiz on Saturday, then today they said makeup tutorial also on Saturday, ch**by* lah, want to enjoy his blog also cannot. And then to study for this quiz, I must "闭关修练" for 3 days 3 nights. Wu yai bor, you must be thinking. Bo pian lah, wo ai pang sai kor pia mah.

(Jiat Lat lah, getting the Rockson fever after Xiaxue's fever. Scarly after 3 days of studying Physics, I will be spouting formula here, then you all see liao also high. Haha)

Hostel Living

I wanna blog about my lecturers, but a conversation with my roomate lead me to write this.

So far, I have been staying in Hall 9 for 2 months and 2 days. How do I feel about it? It's GOOOOOOOOOD. Why? Lots of reason, example, I don't have to wake up at a crazy 5.30am, and travel 1.5 freaking hours to come to school. I don't have to squeeze the sardine-packed bus, be it coming to school or going back home. Although the free shuttle bus that takes us around NTU is packed like sardines too, but at least it's only for like at most 20 minutes and ta-da, you see your bed greeting you by the door. =) And also, in between breaks can come back and recharge, then go for lesson again.

Staying in hostel is a totally different lifestyle. You see, you don't see people in your HDB block 2 am 3 am still not asleep right? I'm consider an early sleeper, for I sleep at midnight, usually. Thank god I'm a heavy sleeper too, if not with the noises outside sometimes can be quite disturbing. Then The JCRC sometimes hold events like Block Supper, Movie Viewing, woah, totally fresh and fun!

You get to know a lot people too, and sometimes they happen to be your coursemates or in same tutorial group too. This is what prompted me to write this. My roomie and I, we wash our clothes in the laundry room. As for the 内在美，we handwash lah, and usually at night. Why? Coz at night less people roam around the block. Bringing our 内在美 to hang dry is always funny and a joke we always share. We always make sure NO GUYS is around, although sometimes they pop out of the scenes so suddenly. This is not the most frightening, coz can always act cool, then quickly get it done with and go back room. The most frightening is...

Based on true story but add a little pepper

It was a cooling afternoon, everyone was about to fall asleep because of the rainy weather.

Guy: Are you from hall 9?

Me, kanna woke up: Huh? Yah.. hall 9

Guy: From block 48, stay in level 2 right?

Me: Yah... (Did he stalk me?)

Guy: I also stay in block 48, level 4, just opposite you. I thought you look familiar when I see you around the block. Blah blah blah..

Me: Huh.. Really ar? Ok, no wonder... Blah Blah Blah (Fuckanana. Did he see me hanging my 内在美 anot? Siao liao lah...)

Haha. Anyway, the guys below us are poor things: always walking under a long stretch of hanging bras and panties.

Update: Both freaks did not contact me today. Yesh!

Freaking Tiring Day

Wah!!! I'm so tired! Been sleeping at 3am for the past 1 week, coz been studying diligently (eh... 50% only lah, most of the time also dunno do what), now my back is aching very badly. Like going back to the time when I was working at JYPS, shoulders ached very much. Then missed my kickboxing twice, never got the chance work out also.

Dropped dead on the bed when school ended today, din even eat dinner (sure slim down!). Wah sai... can really feel the stress coming liao... OHMYGOODNESS!

Went to bath when I woke up. Roomie was back in the room when I went back to the room. When she saw me, she gave me a very agitated look and said,"Siqi, dunno which pervert stole my xiao ku ku! Angry leh! Got feeling for it u noe, wear for 2 years liao! I curse him next life got no underwear to wear!" (Story edited a bit coz when 2 gals are together, we definitely bitch together about this freak but of coz, cannot tell u what we bitch mah, portray bad images then no one wants me how? LOL) Stupid undie-thieve, may he kanna ass rape.

Talking about freaks, I got to know 2 recently, both from friendster. Seems like I was featured under Friendster's gallery, and because my profile can be viewed by everyone. So these 2 freaks message me and wanna be frens lah. Frens oni mah, no harm right? But it was a big mistake... 1 freak wanna woo me, the other freak... haiz... a picture tells a thousand word. See:

Can see the message? See those red underline? He addressed me as dear and gave me a "muackz"! OH MY GOD! Yee.. what's wrong with him huh? I just sms chat with him for like less than 24 hours and he called me dear. And before I saw this message, he messaged me this morning and the conversation was like this:

Freak: Hi Dear, guess u must be in school now. Now raining at Tekong, very cold leh. Come and give me warmth leh. Hee Hee

Me(utterly disgusted by now): *SHOCK* Y u call me dear? did u message the wrong person?

Freak: Sorry, I thought I'm being nice to you by calling u "dear".

Me(Horrified): Huh? I thought only gf will be called dear one what. Anyway, I HATED this word.

He did not message back.

Good, if he message me tomorrow, I'll tell him to go and get some warmth from the faggots in his camp, think they would love to hug him. I think he looks cuddly to them hor. =)

I kanna scared silly by them. Any ideas how to deal with the 2nd one?

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!!!!

Ha ha! I like this one best coz it's about a cute little pig. It's really boffo coz my mobile phone's font was small and because it's in chinese, I can hardly made out the words. So both my upper and lower eyelids were pushing each other (i.e. squinting) to view the message. When I saw the last line I bursted out laughing. Ha Ha Ha. Today is the Chinese Festival, Zhong Qiu Jie, how can I miss it? So I sent 1 sms to everybody, and in return, they sent greetings back to me too. Some are really amusing, like this one:

and this one:








Very funny hor, hor! Since it's so time consuming to share these jokes and greetings through SMS, so I shall blog here and dedicate them to you all.

The 1st is for all my friends:







Next is for all those who cares:


For those with goldfish memory:


To all the Ai Swee Char Boh and Hiao Da Por:


To the Superstar/Tong Hua Fans (do sing along):

Last, to all the people with faith:

99

I saw my web counter reaching 99, I post this to remember it forever (unless Blogger no longer exists which I doubt will happen lah hor). It was only hitting 78 5 minutes ago. =)

Laziness... :P

Today is the last session of my kickboxing class, and I missed it. Bo pian lah, the weather was so nice this morning: no harsh sun rays attempting to burn my fats, nice big wind blow into my room. Such a nice Sunday weather for sleeping, I'm sure you all also won't get up even for the sake of 1 million dollars also lah! But then hor, it didn't last long for me also, my mum called me at 9am, wanting me to bring umbrella for her. When I finished brushing my teeth, she also came back home liao. -_-"' Wah Biang eh!!!
Talking about my kickboxing, I've been a faithful student and I enjoyed it immersely. I've joined since January this year, and never once did I miss a session. However, I made the wrong move when I shifted the Saturday session to Sunday session. Why so? Coz it's a*BROBDINGNAGIAN TORTURE to wake up at 8am on a Sunday morning!!!
I realised also, since there was a first time, there would be a second time and so on. The first time I missed my kickboxing was I was out the whole night, only to reach home at 5.30am in the wee hours. Slept at 6am. Of course, got fire I also won't wake up lah. The second time was just last week, I was online till 3am before I go and look for "Uncle Zhou" and played chess with him. I must have enjoyed the chess game very much that I couldn't wake up. Haha :P . And this morning was the third time, I even thought to myself, "Hiyah, last session already, don't go never mind one lah!" and proceed to cover myself with the nicely warmed pillow over my head. =)
Should I join the new class (Saturday's session of course lah, learnt my lesson liao) or should I wait till exams are over? No kakis no fun also leh... If anyone of you interested, sms me lah! =D The new class starts on 8th October, 11.30am - 12.30pm, at Yishun SFLC. =)

*BROBDINGNAGIAN : I found this word on dictionary.com and it looks cute, so I used it but not sure in the correct way or not. But who cares since we speak Singlish most of the time! Wah hahaha!

#UPDATE: Scene 2 later part happened to me when I was in the kitchen with my Papa. See, I expected it.

Huang Fei Hong

Was watching Huang Fei Hong movie just now... ah.. missed this type of action show so much. You know, the type where they use wires to fly here fly there. Then the heroes machiam made from metal like that, won't die one. In this episode, Huang Fei Hong was played by Zhao Wen Zhuo (What happen to him now anyway?) and got Big Eye Dude Mo Shao Cong also, which I think those born after 1990 won't really know him. Mo Shao Cong is so cute, his eyes automatically expanded and covered half of his face when he saw pretty girls, sibe tiko siah! Ha ha ha ha!
Anyway, there were these 2 bad guys, I shall call them Kiu Mo (Curly Hair, a quite well-known face part-time actor but dunno his name ) and Chang Mao (Long Hair, played by Qian Xiao Hao or Qian Jia Le, dunno which one lah). This Kiu Mo, very funny, keep hitting the horses across their long faces, to show that his fists were very powerful. As we all know in Chinese movies, bad guys had no good endings. So this Kiu Mo, he got his retribution when the horse used its powerful hoof and stomp on his arm (Ouchy!). Kiu Mo got angry and shouted, "I will kill you!!!" I think he was shouting to Gui Jiao Qi, since they were actually having a fight. Anyway, back to the horse, after he shouted wanting to kill, the horse machiam like "Nabeh, u scold me is it? Wa ai hor ler si (I want you to die)!" and use the other hoof and crushed Kiu Mo's arm. Wah Sai. I think the horse is revenging for all the other horses who acted in the movie. Poor horses, many of them were arrowed lah, kick lah, shoot lah. I can't help but halfway watching the show, a scene where another ke lian de horse was kanna hit, I added some lines for the horse, "Wa si beh(I am a horse), um si nabeh(not some vulgar words) lah!"
There was this other scene, where this general, was being shoot and was about to die. Huang rushed over and held him. As we all know, a dying person has some last words. So this general was summoning all his remaning energy to speak, "Ta ma de, what took you so long to come? " Nah... of course, that was not the line he said, he asked Huang to revenge for him lah, but I added the line before he said that and my sis, Jia was super turned off. But then, she also joined in the fun and said, "Wah biang, my scenes finally ended. Fly here fly there sibe tiring!" Wah hahaha, too bad I don't have the images lah, if not I think the effect will be better.

GAWD!

I dreamt that I found my lost pouch... :(
And Dreams are always opposite of reality.
No wonder I cant't get a BF coz I'm always dreaming about hunks. WAH HAHAHAHAHA. (Just a silly joke to cheer myself up actually... haiz...)

The guys in Nakum are so lousy

Just finished watching Survivor 11-Guatemala. The guys in Nakum sucks! One by one went down, first was Blake, who got "screwed" by this tree with spikes. Poor thing. When they finally reached the camp, the guys except Brandon were so dehydrated, and vomited. 4 big burly guys leh.. aiyoh... see them vomit I also feel like vomiting. The iron ladies looked healthy after 11mile jungle trail! The nurse practitioner, Margaret, came in handy. She was responsible for nursing these big babies. So I think she is safe for the time being. Bo doctor wu nurse ma si ho (no doctor got nurse also can)!!!

It was really nice to see Bobby Jon and Stephanie back in this season. I love Steph! Aww... Poor Bobby Jon, suffering from very bad leg cramps that I think he almost passed out. Tsk tsk tsk. Today's just the 1st episode, no climax. The weak and the old was voted off- Jim the old fire captain. He hurt himself during the reward challenge and being the oldest in the tribe, it was no surprise he was voted off. (Those young chicks of coz would prefer to see the bodies of young hunky men and not a shrivelled old man right? hiak hiak hiak, just a joke).

Catch the story here if u missed it.

Tomorrow going home, think how to break the news (lost the matric cards, ez-link and most important: housekeys) to my family. "The Perils of Losing Things", written and directed by, er hem, ME!

Scene 1:

Sister Jia and Mum having nap. The hyperactive Sister Min was playing on her own in the balcony. I reached the doorstep, pressed the doorbell. Sister Min run to the door and shouted "Da Jie! Ni Hui Lai Lah!"

Me: "Min Min, go and get the key and open the door."

Min: "Why?"

Me: "I lost my keys, quick, my bags are heavy."

Min: "Why you lost your keys?"

Me: "Careless lor..."

Min: "Why u careless?"

Me: "Blur mah, didn't know I lost it."

Min: "Why u blur?"

Me: "Coz I am blur lah..." (a bit fed up)

Min: "Why are u blur?"

Me: "I'm born like that lor!" (steam coming out)

Min: "Why u born like that?"

Me: "Dunno! U ask mummy lah. Quick! Get the keys!"

Min: "Why ask Mummy?"

Me: "KEEP YOUR BLOODY MOUTH SHUT AND GO AND GET THE KEYS!!!" (fuming)

Min started to sob and run to her bed and wailed, leaving me at the door.

Scene 2:

Jia woken up by Min'a wailing, dragged herself to the door, asked me what happened. Halfway relating the story, she exclaimed, "WHAT! You lost your keys again?"

Opening the door for me, I saw my angry father in the kitchen who overheard what Jia said, especially the part "lost your key AGAIN".

Dad: "How you lost your keys?"

Me: "I was taking my tissue out and...."

Dad: "U put ur keys together with tissue! You shouldn't do that! You should put it inside your pockets mah! Keys very important, how can you put in together with tissues? You mus have throw it unknowingly. Your keys should always put inside your pocket. Like that you will know whether it's with you mah! Why you never keep track of your things, so careless of you! ............" (endless nagging from my dad who hardly speaks but once started it's never ending!)

Scene 3:

Me: "Mum, can help me duplicate one set of keys?"

Mum: "Hiyoh, you lost ur keys again, so careless! How many bunches had I dupilcated for you? Why are you so careless?"

Me: "Didn't realise the pouch wasn't with me when I left the theatre."

Mum: "What theatre? I thought you said you want to study in school? What are you doing at the theatre?"

Me: "Oh, PZ invited me to a movie preview mah, and it costs $5 only. "

Mum: "See? Serve you right, said want to study never study, if you had study in school you will not have lost your things."

Me: :"/

Scene 4:

Jia: "Wah Lau, why you always lost your keys de?"

Me: "You think I wanted meh? I lost my things, got to make a lot of reports, you think I enjoy meh?"

Jia: "You ar, so careless. Everytime in a new school surely must lose something then kam wan is it? Now dad is going to change the lock for the Nth time, see, u so troublesome! Worse, he might make triple locks! Wah Biang eh, then everyytime we will take 15 minutes to open the locks! See lah!"

Me: "..."

See? If I lost something, I will be bombarded. Anyway, the above is fake, I made it up one. Although a similar dialogue might come out from my dad. Hiak Hiak Hiak!

At the same time I was blogging, my sister MSNed me and she knew I lost my keys from my blog. She wasn't quite surprised though and said she will tell Dad on my behalf. So touched! So I said I will summon my endurance to prepare for my Dad's nagging. -_-"'

I got my laptop!!!!!

This is going to be a very boring entry on how I spent my day:

• Last night mugged till 3am, woke up at 11am (was awake by 8.30am, but lazy bones lah). Mourned for my lost pouch... haiz... but decided nothing else could be done except to wait. Called my school's library and informed them my lost of matric card, (SOP), and the officer blocked my account and advised me to go SAO to do replacement. Forgot to ask him when will he unblock my account, what if I continue to wait and never make a replacement how?

• Called TransLink to report the lost of the EZ-link card. The lady was so nice, told me to report to the National Library in case someone misuse my EZ-link card to borrow books. I would not have done that if she did not tell me. And thumbs up for Translink, I'm able to get back the remaining value in the card.

• After fiddling with my notes for 5 minutes, decided I can't concentrate to mug also, so I made my way down to SAO office to file a report. I walked from my hostel to SAO, coz time to shed some fats lah... missed my kickboxing last week and I find myself suddenly bloated. LOL. Another nice soul, the uncle told me to file a report first and then go to level 1 to make replacement (eh, how come the librarian asked me to do replacement at level 6).

• Move my fat ass down to level 1, told the lady I want to do replacement. Advised me not to in case some kind soul will return my pouch (2 days liao leh). Told her my situation about the laptop, she said she can print a letter to authorise that I'm a student of NTU. I'm so grateful!!!

• Rush my ass to 8 flags, did the necessary admin work, and voila! I got my laptop, and with all the freebies! Dislike the backpack to the core, stated in the purchase order form was BLUE for my bag, but they gave me BROWN. Yucks! But I think I got more than I had bargained for. Free thumbdrive, cable lock, USB hub, a small pouch. Whoopie!

• Spend the rest of the day meddling wif the new laptop. Wahahahaha!

Yesterday went back to Cineleisure, still, nothing was found, but the lady was so nice to let me go in and check for myself, but it has already been a day, so chances very slim also. Then I went to report to the Cine management, but judging from the way the security guard fumbled for "lost item" form, I think chances of getting back is not high. Bleahz...

ALERT! For those ginger haters like me, please do not eat Myojo's instant chicken porridge, coz their product is so good that they had dried gingers in the package. Strongly Recommend the Seafood and Duck Porridge. It's good! Yummy!

Why am I so CARELESS???!!!!!???

Boo hoo hoo, I am so sad, I lost my tissue pouch yesterday. Not only does it contain a pack of tissue, there are my matriculation card, student EZ-link card, my house keys, and my favorite keychain which is no longer available now… SO SAD!!!!
Please pray hard for me that the personnel in-charge in Cathay Cineleisure will call me and bring me good news. *cross my fingers*

Now with my matriculation card missing, I can’t collect my laptop, Zhen Shi TA MA DE!!!!! I waited for so long liao…Grr…. Now I really have to concentrate on mugging…4 quizzes coming up when school starts, what a week!

Whatever, I am going to make a trip down to Cine later and double confirm.

Anyway, the movies I've watched were good, "Phileine Says Sorry" and "Be With Me". I will do a movie review once I finished my "battle".

About my name

Since this is the 1st post, I shall talk about myself, about my name.

I love my name very much since young, although it's quite common, but not over-use until like I can have a dozen of Huilin/Huiling/Huili in my phonebook like that. And also, together with my surname, it makes a perfect combo of 0-4-7 (ling-si-qi, sound like my name, lin si qi). So very cute right?

However, when I had my first email account, I wanted something special, something cuter. So I thought of both my Chinese and Western Zodiacs, which are the Pig (Boar) and Aquarius. So together, it makes Aquapig, a water pig. HAHAHAHA

Sure, it was cute and funny. My cousin, who was working at that time, uses her company mail to forward email to her friends and relatives. So during one CNY, she told me all her colleagues asked her, “Eh, tat aquapig email address very funny, the pig can swim is it? Who’s that friend of yours?” I treated it as a “compliment”, coz I thought “Hee hee, my email address very special”.

Anyway, now years down the road, I have started to use my initials, LSQ and 047, in any permutations, as my login account name and other things like initials in some records. Recently, while I was having darts training, I was aiming for the number 17. My captain came over, saw that I was aiming 17, and cracked a very lame joke, “Hmm… Siqi aim Shi Qi”, meaning, Si qi aiming at 17, which sounds similar too. My other teammates joined in the fun and laughed about it. I act cool and said, “Not funny lor, so lame”, although I was trying very hard to control my laughter. Then, while we were having friendly match, my senior asked for my initials, and so I replied, “S Q”. He joked that I’m the airline is it. So I joked back and said, “U din know SQ047 belongs to me meh?” Puzzled by what I said, I continue, “Lin Si Qi, 0-4-7 mah!” Immediately, he and my captain had 3 strokes of sweats -_-/// coming down from their forehead. Brrr… freezing lame sia…

This morning, while I was trying to think of a creative name for my blog, without much brainstorming, I decided on SQ047, but somehow it was taken, so I added a “flight” in front. So now, u people are now “on board” on Boeing SQ047. LOL… sorry, I digressed a little. Anyway, while I was bathing, I recalled all the hilarious incidents about my names, like when I ordered pizza and they wanted my name, I gave them SQ. when they shouted for me to collect my pizza, the lady boss, giving a serious look and said, “SQ? 007 mah?” and then she broke out laughing to herself. I want to tell her, “No it’s 047!”LOL. Another one was my IT illiterate non-IT savvy sister, Jia. One evening, when I came back home from NYP, she excitedly run to me and said, “HEY, your name was reported in the news!” She was lamer than I, but at that point, she sounded so serious and so I thought, did I join in any events and they had actually reported on it? Anyway, Jia said the news will be reported after the commercial break. So I waited, without changing my clothes first, fear that I would miss the news. When I saw the damn heading, I immediately turned off. Why? Coz the goddamn news was on some SQL technology and my sister thought it was funny that my initial is the same. (Si Qi Lin, if written in ang moh’s way)

Anyway, as I recalled, I had this silly idea, what if I combine my name and zodiacs together. Come, let u all guess the end results first. Come guess lah…. Not necessarily must be flightSQ047 and aquapig, but more like things connected them link together. Let me tell u, the end result is superb! Ready? It is…
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Aqua-Aero-Pig! (Aqua Aerobics)
Kua… Kua… Kua…