Do I really have the ability? 我不笨，只是不够聪明。。。

Haiz... Another gone-case paper. Just pray I'll pass. To some people, they felt that I did not put it in enough efort. How much do one consider enough effort?

I always start to question my ability everytime I failed to complete one paper with confidence (excluding that repeat module). Can I do it? If I can, then what exactly went wrong? Alright, I admit I was lazy at times, surf too much, blog too much, talk too much, eat too much, but I did study hard! Maybe not hard enough...again

Everytime I study, my mind would drift back to my secondary school days where my results were equally lousy, maybe a little better than now. O'level was every 16 yo's and 17 yo's nightmare. I recalled how hardworking I was, doing question after question. An L1R5 of 17 was not something I'm proud of, I'm proud that I was disciplined enough to study and pass all, considering I failed so many subjects during the 1st 3 years.

I want the discipline I had when I was 16, but I don't have the energy of a 16 year old. Moreover, the modules here are so overloaded. DOES ANYONE OF YOU KNOW OR NOT? Hmpf...

Maybe I should not "complain" so much, if other people can score well, why can't I? I just need thrice the dosage of effort, energy and engrossment into this course (EEE, ha ha, bad pun).

没有聪明人的智慧，就要有多点苦劳。没有苦劳，哪有收获？

I will and must work hard for year 4. Exam period = Laptop confinement period, then at least I can really concentrate on study. Maybe I should bring back my old self, when I was such a perfectionist, now I am so chin chai (always in "Bo A, B ma si ae sai" mentality.)

Sidetrack a bit, too engross in something is not very good for my heart, because I always got a shock when people pat me on my back or called my name, hor? Ha ha. And also, I think I can't write a serious and solemn entry, I just have to add in some bits of fun somewhere here and there. =P

SH, thanks for just now. Felt really better. I think I'm comparing with them in my subconscious. Was on the verge of T_T actually. Phew, luckily I hold back, if not I think very malu to T_T over such things.

My calculator screwed up again.