Feeling Very Fucked Up...

Damn the PMS!

Been feeling shitty since Thursday, Fri turned worse! Moody, Pissed, Sad, Angry, Depress all mix into one...

It was during Kumi's birthday celebration on Thrusday, on my way there, started feeling lonely. My mind was thinking all the pessimistic stuffs! Like, why I no boyfriend! Kaoz... I am not desperate usually! Anyway, I started to believe, in fact, I might hate guys. 我讨厌男人！Anyway, I was already moody, and yet I had to really like hyperactive in front of them... coz I'm usually like that in front of them... Sianz... Wore something nice, Ann Jie said I should continue dress up like that. I said it was only for this occassion that I dressed up, if I were to go school, I wear back my tees, more comfortable. She joked she would teared off them... And I was feeling very disgusted, as to why should they decide what I wear? (Reminded me of Ivy) I know it's nice of her to compliment me, about my dress sense, about my hair... but these compliments can be pressurizing! As if I had to uphold this "pretty" image... I wear what I like!

Won a bit of money yesterday at mahjong, feeling better, coz the emotion I had was the excitement from winning!

Went Sungei Buloh today, it was rather fun... Getting in touch with nature. It made my mood better, but when it comes to at night, I'm feeling very shitty again, now. Will upload pics soon, had a close encounter with a 4 metres lizard!

Argh... Don't feel like going anywhere! Don't feel like working, don't feel like meeting poly friends this Wednesday! Diyumi, I think we might have to change date for this Friday... If I still feeling fucked up... sorry...

I think one reason being I'm broke for the month; no money, where got mood to go out?

Should start eating $1 porridge and lose weight, else waste my money for kickboxing ... I eat when I'm feeling down or stress. Double dose if its both! I dun think I had lose any weight since Jan... Kaoz!

Short Tempered, said some unkind stuffs to Kan Cheong Queen. She was again nagging and complaining... She said something about her ex-colleague earned a honour's degree in 21 months, (Aussie degree) and planned to take Master's degree in NTU. She then started to lament how unfair that we had to slogged for 3 years. I rebuked that since she already knew there were shorter degree courses, why did she still wanna choose NTU and kpkb now? Then I logged off... Argh... Sat gg JB, and I don't feel like going le... Had this urge to vut this friendship off... coz she can be really on my nerves...

烦死了!