How should we call it?

Recently, XX polytechnic was having a terrible headache over a particular female student's scandalous video. While everyone is focusing on that poor girl, I wonder, how come nobody is talking about the boyfriend, who, very likely was the one who suggested this freak idea, but had used the poor girl's phone? I had seen the video myself, and in the news article, it was said taken somewhere in the school's compound, please lor, I saw a wardrobe with a lot of men's clothings and obviously it was at the boyfriend's house. Yes... they were 100% naked, er hem... In case you all wonder why I wonder the guy is not getting attention in the media, well, both are leads and why is the female lead getting the attention (bad one) , must give some for the male lead mah, we are in a sort of equal status society, so must be fair mah! And personally, why should I be interested in the girl when I have everything she has, but she don't have what I have (my fats). So of course, I focus on the guy lah! LOl, joking joking.

Anyway, in a blog I read, he joked in a crude way that the boyfriend's "little brother" was just average, not very well-endowed, and that his is bigger blah blah blah. Obviously, no guy want to admit he had the smallest in the world one mah, and I think it was purely fictionous for entertainment only.

Okie, I've reached my main point in this entry. How many other terms can you come up with for this male anatomy, which we had lovingly name it, Penis. I search Thesaurus.com and I think this is the only word with no other official names but a lot of unoffical names:

What the fuckanana??? It's not offical meh?

I searched Dictionary.com for meaning:

Now, let's talk about some non-official terms. I think the first time I knew what that thing called, non-offically, was called ku ku jiao or ku ku bird, or di di. Then, I started to wonder, in what way does a penis resemble a bird? And why ku ku bird, and not chi chi or pi pi, not worm or snake or dragon, to make it sound more "high class"? Seriously, they should name it after the animals above, depending on the length, obviously. Experts always say size do not matter and that the average size of a penis is 3 inches (young boys?) and it's enough to satisfy women (shaking your head?). The world's longest record is 14 inches leh! So now, let me grade these men's "di-di":

3 inches-6 inches: Wormy, wriggly and itchy, you wish you could smack it to make it go (grow, lol)

7 inches - 9 inches: Snaky, looks frightening at first, but once you got used to it, it's no big deal at all

10 inches - 14 inches: Dragonly, it's rare and once you have it, eternal bliss.

LOL, I think can be a secret code for during "discussion".

Let's move to Western. When I started to learn to read properly, that was when I read word by word and not skim through them like the words are not there. I got to know the Ang Mohs like to call them dick or cock (Is this how ku ku bird originate from?) Seriously, Dick is suppose to be a human name, how did it end up and become a penis name? This guy friend of mine, he had this name Dick by birth, and he happily used it until P6 when all his guy friends started teasing him. Cock? This one really caught me scratching my head liao, exactly like my previous question mark, which part look like rooster? Or is it used to describe the size, as it is close to that of a rooster?

When I went to secondary school, I learnt more terms on the male anatomy. Lam Pa and Lan Jiao, 2 hot favourites among the bengs and lians. I remembered there was this sick riddle related to it. Diao (吊), refer to the male's private organ in Taiwan, a kind of vulgarity. I think they called it Diao because of the way it is there, you know, a piece of meat dangling. And yah, it was commonly linked to banana, hotdog and a rod and anything that's long.

No matter how they are called generally, I think "di-di" sounds better, coz there a touch of human to it.