Avatar

So, I watched Avatar, twice.

Twice, I was deeply moved by the story (a bit old-fashioned love story and warrior fighting) and fascinated by the visual effects.

Twice, I can't help but wonder, this movie contains a little racism. The actors and actresses portraying the Na'vi are mostly Africa American, except the Eytukan who is an American Indian of the Cherokee Nation. Their similarities? Well, they all used to dance around a fire wearing little clothings, like the Na'vi. And the human who infiltrated Pandora are all, well, whites!

Twice, I wondered, how come Neytiri suddenly spoke perfect American accent English in times of sorrow. "You mean you know this will happen?" was so different accented from "I trusted you" which came later.

Other than these two annoying parts, Avatar ultimately still won my unfaithuful vote for being the movie of the year. Weirdly, I am deeply infatuated with the world of Pandora, in love with the Na'vi and head over heels with the language. =D

The storyline of Avatar, is in fact, all within expectation, at least within my expectation. I could roughly guess what will happen. Not sure if the director deliberately left the tracks for us to guess. Maybe, sometimes it is the most common thing that drive the most unexpected results. Avatar contains a lot of stories and meanings to convey. One, we should protect our Mother Nature, stop abusing her! Two, war is bad, war brings casualties, war does not result in a win-win situation, in fact, lose-lose. Three, human are a selfish bunch of aliens, who only thought of their own benefits, and who don't see with their hearts.

I had a colleague hiam Avatar hiam until I wondered why he so worked up for. But he had a few interesting modern theories on Avatar.

1. You get the prettiest chick and the envies of others if you have a flashier car. Jake became a Turok Matok and everyone worship him, because he has the best car on Pandora.
   
2. The Pandora is like one huge server and the Na'vi has these tails which they upload and download information. Like an RJ45.
3. The Na'vi are more primitive than human because they had this system so well-planned systems that could survive for many many years that they do not need upgrades.

Haiz... Male Engineers!

I deserved it

I had so much time to prepare, why did I still throw myself into such a shit pit.

My bosses were kind enough not to point out what a disaster I am.

A better result on the 19th! Zene Hasey! Tsun Hasey!

If only I channel the energy to learn Na'vi to doing my PHP.

Conclusion

My recent posts are a bit, hmm, how should I put it, way over emotional.

Conclusion: the dreaded period is coming... So Feels like Crap (FLC) lah!

I wonder if I can show professionalism during a period like this.

Crap...

Exfoliation is good for the skin! Stress is not.

It's been ages since I dutifully exfoliate and slapped my face with sheet masks or overnight cream. I finally exfoliate my face, and what a huge difference it made! It looked radiant!

Where is the auntie I saw in the mirror this morning?

Ah... Missed my facial last week, shall booked another timing soon...

I love pampers!

Was on MC today, and it struck me that I always get sick panic attacks whenever I felt stressed and completely incompetent at work. I had headache when I woke up this morning, the really annoying and refused to go away so I rolled back into my bed instead, and called in sick.

All along, I tot it was because my gastric problem, which gave me tension headache. It wasn't until the doctor asked me if my work is stressed, then I realized the root of problem.

While I'm not yet really stressed by the work yet, coming soon anyway, I was actually stressed by the environment. I'm new to the team despite having a job for 8 months, which I was practically self study most of the time. The mock project we did for 2 months I had almost zero involvement till the last minute, when the leading was on MC. I really had it free and easy, and I tried to keep up with my readings.

Now as I officially entered into the team, immediately, I felt a great disparity between me and my teammates. Firstly, they all guys lah. Secondly, what they know and understand scares me. Nope, not because they are very experienced. I mean there's this one guy I observed, he's been there for a year I think but I could see the seniors loved him every bit. He's smart, he's hardworking, and he's totally can be depended on. Even though I do not understand the system yet, but I do know he's handling quite a major task now. My 2 weeks there, never once did I see him taking a nap! Power!

And I practically screwed up my first task (the web system) with the laptop and I almost caused them to lose 6 years worth of data, thankfully, we managed to revert the system back. If a simple task I can't do it well, I think I will really jinxed the major system sooner or later lor.

While I clicked OK with the guys whom were with me at main office during the audit, it wasn't with the others. I do want to join in their conversations, I want to crack jokes, I want to laugh with them, but there's the fear and irritating thought "She's so lame" inside my head and stuffed my opening mouth with it. There is this constant awkwardness lingering above us.

Even when I tried a conversation with one, it started and ended with a cold full stop.

This is so J&J all over again!!! I hate it and don't want it to be like this!

When they were discussing the system which I had absolutely zero idea what they talking about, I could feel an adrenalin rush in me, coz this system is like so cool but difficult. Despite how many times I told some people I won't be staying for long (I had no motivations during the first 8 months!), now that I had a peek into the project, I kinda loved it. Of course, maybe before I started screwing everyone with my sotongness and then hate myself for being so lousy and then moved onto the next job and then repeat the whole cycle again.

Maybe I'm a little impatient, I'm just 2 weeks in that place.

Give myself more time.

Feeling Flabbulous and Fatastic again

I looked into the mirror, and instead of seeing a healthy 25 (going 26) lady... I saw a severely obese, lack of luster, dark-skinned obasan.

Flipping through the photos in FB made it worse... I looked so good 5 years ago! Fat I may be , but I looked good.

Now, I looked so hideous! And I finally understand the true faces behind the very well painted masks I saw on the street! Do away with the ugliness!

I should really start doing something about my face and body. It's time to exercise again! Exercise is good, for the body and mind.

Should really start jogging, since my colleague dropped me off at stadium almost everyday. I love to jog at stadium, because I can count the number of rounds I run and multiply it to get the distance. Plus there are no exhaust from the cars! I shall not let the tiredness from work deter my routine. Be firm!!!

Thinking of going back to my kickboxing. Miss them dearly... Any takers?

NATO again... mu ha ha ha.

Motivating myself with DietGal... She lost half of her original size, dammit! So can I!

New Year Resolutions

Lol, my last new year resolution was in 2007!

That's like 2 years ago!

Setting up new year resolutions again.. bit of same old things really. But 2010 kind of mark a new start, especially with a new job (officially it was 8 months ago, but technically, I'm only starting now, being posted to project site and learning things all over again.) Plus, I'm going to be 26 soon, should really start to achieve some things.

1. Lose weight! I lost 3 kgs last year, bounced back 2 kg tho during the last week because of overeating, but my swimming really toughen up my flabby a little bit. Now I walked also tired and panting leh, really must cut down my extra kilos already.
2. Be diligent. I still owe my boss the website which was due last year last day. Must chope chope finish already lah. Considering the lack of internet resources in the office, I shall diligently do my research at home.
3. Manage my finance, control them! Spend too much last year lah, My savings is so pitiful. Going HK in April somemore.
4. Be more responsible in anything I do I say. Too many empty promises/threats (to Jamie) last year.
   
5. Be nice to everyone, especially my family. Last year, my temper flared up too easily. Small things also annoyed.

Things I shall complete/start in 2010.

1. Run a small 5 km marathon by this year. Gotta start training already I guess.
   
2. Do more charity. Be it donation or volunteer work.
3. Upgrade my IT skills and knowledge. Master course maybe?
4. Pick up a new skill. I learnt Jap, Driving and Swimming. Maybe Dancing?
   
5. Start a small business online, not sure what I am going to sell yet. Thinking of handicrafts.

Ok lah. I have exactly 363 days to see how much I can accomplish.

So, how's ur Xmas and NYE?

Xmas I went out with Diyumi, NYE I at home clearing things.

Very sianz... a lot of work, but not motivated to do....

Coming CNY, more stuffs to do... This year is the comeback of SQ Chinese Lanterns!

Didn't make them since 2004? 2005?

Itchy hands again... Been designing them and conceptualizing them inside my brains... thinking of making a mini one coz my ang pow very big, if make the normal sure super huge...

Jialat.. bad old habit coming back... I.e. doing low priority stuffs over high priority... :P

See how lah.

Looong Weekend

Not good.

Apart from gaining weight, I also gaining laziness.

How to work like that?

Nua like sai like that...

Laziness concluded from the amount of blog posts I have for Dec... 4 grand posts. Maybe one more before 2009 finish.

Gosh. Think I have to be thick skin and ask my boss to extend my website deadline tmr/later.

Up in the west

Apart from my Uni internship, all my work places had always been in the west.

From Buona Vista, to the farther Boon Lay, then Jurong East in my last job, all are in the west. The current AMK location is temporary, the actual project location is at Bukit Panjang/Gombak (Both location seemed applicable), and how I rolled my eyes when I first knew where I was supposed to work. From what I see, the location gets nearer to north each time (by MRT tracks).

Maybe this is a subtle sign my next job will be somewhere in Woodlands?

Will be going to BP to officially start work tomorrow, I knew the day will come, but can't help but feeling a little sad to leave the AMK colleagues whom I got along so well in the past 8 months. And despite being in AMK for the past 8 months, friends and colleagues still got a shock and asked why so fast (to go project location).

Well, I would say it was very sudden, just a call and I was due to go. I had expected to go down sometime next year.

Anyway, I hope the guys there will be happy to see me lah, the mysterious girl who didn't show up for 8 months. LOL. I always secretly thought my DVP put me there to soften the environment, as the team is made up of guys only. But, I must prove my worth!

Like my fav song 子曰 goes：

搞不懂就问人
搞得懂就答人
没有人懂还可以问神

如以why为本体
表现在具体的生活上
come on everybody一起来

要懂得推理要心存怀疑
要充满好奇要钜细靡遗
要打破砂锅问到底

Busy fooling around with Satio

Can't be helped, too many ways to play it.

Battle of the Sexes

Had a mahjong session with my colleagues on Friday night. It was a battle of the sexes, Yishun Ladies V.S Bishan Boys.

After 2 - 3 hours of friendly battle, the Yishun Ladies, having home ground benefits, won a total of $2.80.

It seems not so cost effective to play for $3 for 3 hours, but we had the fun and laughter. Too many funny quotes. I pity Edmund who's my 下家， coz he could only 靠自己 as I always discard lousy tiles. He's also the funny one.

Funny quotes
Edmund:

• Siqi 的 pong 有杀气！
• 赢30cents, 输60cents, Haiz... 抽屉都 kang kang liao
  
• Mae 被我喂到很饱 （Mae: Ya lor, 爱死你了！）
• 我慢，还没pong, Siqi 就抓牌，结果每次can only pong second round
  

Me:

• To Edmund's empty drawer: Aiyah, 你是赢小小的， *pause, but 输多多！

I feel happy for others when they spend money

Ha ha, it is very true literally.

Went shopping Miss Kim last Saturday, she got herself a pretty lacy dress and a pair of pretty shoes. The dress was really very pretty and I found a matchy lacy shoes, but Miss Kim scared it would be lace-overdose, so she got herself a the crocodile print black/white heels instead, which matched almost everything. I myself was tempted to buy the croc heels, but I didn't succumb to the temptation of getting a totally want-shoe, so I stuck to looking for my white heels to match my dress to wear for the coming cousin's wedding, which I did. I also finally found a pair of aviator sunglasses (my first pair) which doesn't hang being stuck on my fat face. The thing is, I cannot smile too brightly else the sunglasses will be dangling off the nose. If only I had a sharper nose. =( Miss Kim was amused when I wore it and chanting "Eh! I really like this very much leh!"

Under Jia's sai nai plea, I went shopping with her at Northpoint, to my utmost displeasure. I was really ungroom to the max, but since it was within 1km distance, fine lor, go shopping. Jia whacked a grand total of $300 on 1 dress, 1 top (I picked one!), 1 crop jacket, 1 pair of shoes and 2 bras (which took the SA 15 mins and searched the whole shop for her, lol). When she was trying the dress, she tried to visualize how she looked like when matched with a cardigan (dress was sleeveless), which totally did no respect for the dress as it has a very unique front. So I grabbed both the sides of the cardigan and dragged it to her back so that it looked like a shrug, and voila, it looked amazingly good. I am so proud of myself. I really should work as a personal shopper leh! Then when she was trying out the crop jacket, she threw her stuff all on me like I'm a maid leh... well, it amused the SA lor, coz my face was totally sibeh chao. Anyway, I just need to accumulate another $112 then I can become member already.

Well, after shopping consecutively on 2 weekends, somehow it depleted my shopping energy, that I was totally in no mood to shop today. Went to a private sale at Woodlands, but then hor, I don't enjoy as there was a lot of people, they all knew each other so I felt a bit left out, and it was a little hot and stuffy. Rather buy them through online where at least there was an element of surprise expectation. Shall leave this to another blog of how I really feel.

I went Causeway point later, saw the lacy heels again and I was tempted to buy it myself, as it seemed to match one my top which I just bought (waiting for it to arrive, from F21.) But then I think I want to KIV first lah. Went to cut my hair instead, as I was fed up with it already. Got myself a bang fringe, and the new haircut made me felt very recharged. =) And also felt like dressing up again -> totally sianz to do makeup for work last week.

Been wearing those comfy old polo tees and neglected those nice tops that I bought, must really packed old clothes to one corner liao, else those clothes I bought will never get a chance to see daylight, just the back of my wardrobe.

After writing all these, shopping mood is back. Ha ha.

Good Samaritan or Sabohritan?

In my company, there is this weird culture of not pressing the lift for others. Not that we engineers are a bunch of jerks, it is just the culture, it is more of "monkey see monkey do". So today, while I was waiting for the lift, I reminded myself that I must press the "door open" button so that people can stream in without getting kiap by the lift door.

There weren't a lot of us, just me and 3 other guys waiting for the door. So, I was the first one to get inside, so I pressed the button to keep the door open. But very soon, the door was closing and the guy was halfway in only, then I quickly hit the button a few more times, but the door was adamant on closing, but luckily, the guy had already hopped in.

So while the lift was traveling up, as per usual, we all looked at the ground, looked the door, looked at the posters. There was a manager from my unit but we didn't greet each other anyway. So as I stoned looking at the buttons, I realised, I had been pressing at the "door closed" button.

No wonder the door closed so fast.

/*--------------------------------*/
Jamie got lucky!

She found $1, got a $15 cheque from the Flame of the Forest publishing coz they picked her story (which Jia and me edited a thousand times and still not happy with it coz it was too plagarize but she won anyway) and she managed to squeeze into upper EM2, which really took out burden off. Her class focus more on Maths and Science coz their English too powerful already. Apparently due to her distinction in English New South Wales paper.

Heng ah.

Baby Arm Floats

I went for my breast-stroke swimming lesson earlier. After swimming almost 20 laps, I was kpkb how my arms were aching yet I'm dying to tone them.

There was this other lady, somehow misheard it and thought I said I wanted to put baby arm floats so that my arms wouldn't ache.

"No lah, my floats are natual one!", I replied, raise my arms and shook the "floats".

No money no problem or no money sure got problem?

Got news that a cousin a year my junior is getting married.

She an N' level grad, works as cashier. Her partner is a car mechanic.

This got me thinking.

I noticed (well, actually the govt did the stats too) that people with higher qualifications married at later age. It's like the more papers you have, the later you marry.

My theory is, because we used the time to study instead of pak tor, so we ended up dating later. So more papers qualification = more time spent = less time for dates.

Then, when you have higher qualifications, you have higher expectations, and this applies so exceptionally true for women. Maybe only 20% of the females I know don't have such criteria.

Another thought, we always felt that we need money to get marry, we need even more money for marriage life, worse if you have kids. My colleagues and I did some assumptions calculations, if we really scrimp, $3000 seems to be enough, but then is better if there's double income lah, more elastic when it comes to financial planning.

So, back to my cousin, I think their incomes add up to <$3000, so, what prompted them to marry? Why do they want to marry? The first image that came to my mind when I knew she's getting married was a scene of a mother nagging at the father of his low income while 3 kids are wailing on the floor. Heck, I don't even visualising romance at their proposal.

Kaoz, spinster thoughts at work again.

Anyway, I think higher qualification grads are planning too far ahead, assuming the problems that had yet to be real, and hence throwing away potential chances at their own love life. Well, it can't be helped, the higher education taught us to assume, plan ahead and avoid mistakes.

But for lower education, mistakes are meant to be learnt, so it's alright to make them. And thinking far ahead has never been their way of life, I mean, to put it bluntly, "I am only O'level grad, what can I do, at most cashier all my life". It's like they think in present tense only.

Seriously sometimes I think education screwed us badly, and backfire on gahmen's plan on more elites in the future. You know, more degree holders get married = more brainier kids? I see more divorce rates and angsty kids.

Real work makes me sick

Literally.

I was tasked to do a small web system for our internal project team. So today I was looking at the code and deciding how I wanted to do it.

I had to view the code in Notepad, which really strained my eyes. Tried to rest my eyes, but to no avail.

At knocking off time, my coordinators asked if I was ready to go with them. When I looked up from the computer screen, and told them to wait for me to pack my bag, both of them went, "Alamak, why you looked so pale!"

FYI, I hardly looked pale, even when I was very sick. So if I'm pale, this kinda implied that I was really tired out by my task.

But then, I am happy that I got some real thing to do, and "bad thoughts" just stay away.

NC16, M18, R21

The conversation between me and my colleagues has gone from PG, to M18 and recently R21. Boredom really drives us nuts.

Case #1: M18
So, we were having our lunch and 2 colleagues ate extra much than usual, we teased them about having second puberty. Then, Colleague A started asking whether our breasts hurt during that period, and all of us went stunned for a moment and started laughing.

“You mean guy or girl?” someone asked. (Can’t remember was it me or the others who asked)

Colleague A: “Guy. One of sec school mate had breast pain, and we loved pushing and thumping him on his chest.”

At this point, I was secretly thinking, he was the one but he used a classmate as shield. Maybe the others were secretly thinking like this too. LOL.

Anyway, we started engaging in a debate on how guy can feel pain there, but Colleague B mentioned that it was possible for men to have breast cancer, why not breast pain blah blah blah the anatomy of guy’s chest.

Then, Colleague C burst out saying to Colleague A, “Eh, later we must go toilet take off your clothes and check liao.”

Wah ha ha.

*We googled, and quote from ehow.com: Nearly all girls and some boys experience breast pain during puberty

Case#2: R21
Colleague S bought a bunch of bananas after lunch and asked if we want some. Those naughty ones started teasing, "Your banana, don't want lah. Too dark liao." LOL, S is very dark. Anyway, they started joking about the length of the bananas, and then somehow it lead to the "action". So I spontaneously grabbed one, and did the "action". All of them stunned, then burst out laughing, coz it was so unlike me to do such kind of acts, but they thought it was hilarious. After all the laughing, Colleague M pointed out to me that I got the anatomy wrong. Confused, I asked how wrong. Oh, turned out that I "grabbed" the wrong way round, and hence, instead of moving up and down from the top, I was doing it from the bottom.

"Paiseh lah, aku no experience. Learn from online, didn't observe carefully."

Felt like an idiot

You know, those colorful file dividers that comes with a content page? Well, I never used the content page, preferring to write it on the tab itself.

And so today, I was tasked to do some filing, using the dividers. My instinct was to write the labels on the tab, but I realized I was to use the labeling machine and paste them in the content page. So I only wrote one wrong tab, and then waiting for further instructions from the person.

This person, saw my writing on the tab, immediately showed disdain and chided, "Why you write there? Use the machine!"

"I know..." I replied, nonchalantly.

"Secondary school got do before what, you dunno meh? You print the label, then paste them"

TNND, secondary school I used to write in on the tab, coz the content page not enough and it was far less efficient. It was much faster for me to search by browsing the tabs, nothing wrong what. Why must he sound like he's teaching a primary school kid how to do filing?

If I wasn't the only female (newbie) left in the office, I wouldn't be doing this. The trend had always been the slim girls' work. Well, I'm not complaining that I didn't get to do the sai kang that time, what I meant is I'm doing the sai kang now coz no more girls.

Bloody hell.

Top Secret

Our office is bustling with work, well, at least for those with 2A clearance. Security audit is coming and many staff were deployed to assist with this audit, to ensure there is no discrepancies in the information, and all were logged down properly. Those without clearance can't touch the files.

So, a colleague was doing some checks and packing up before knocking off, and he asked us, "还有没有Top Secret 的东西 or information？"

I answered, "有，我的三围lor!"

LOL.

不拉不相识

There's a lot of ways of making friends, and in one Chinese saying, "不打不相识" which means from an exchange of blows friendship grows. Well for me was from an exchange of zip friendship grows.

There is this tiny lady who was the secretary of our Com VP. Both of us hardly made small talks as she is always busy. Today, in her midst of her busy phone conversation, I saw that her zipper was undone and I could see her rose colour undie. I immediately stood behind her and signal the other secretary who was in front of Tiny, to tell Tiny that it was undone. As I don't really know her,I don't dare to just zip it up for her, so I stood behind her and protect her rear view. So this other secretary told me to just zip it.

Tiny turned around and looked at me in shock. At this moment, she was already putting the phone down. Then, the other secretary told her why I did that. Tiny turned into a tiny tomato. Her face was so red!

And that's how we started talking.

Apparently, the guys saw it but I think because they don't want to admit they saw it (is kind of like admitting they chikopek), so we (the girls) weren't inform out of courtesy that Tiny's zip was undone until I saw it. (There were a total of 4 woman in the office, 2 were in front of Tiny and I was back facing Tiny, so we really didn't see it until I turned back.)

Well, it seemed that Tiny is a klutzy lady who always had embarrassing mishaps, so it was just like one of her another days. LOL.